Endings and Beginnings

I love the way the world works. You just never know what your day is going to bring. Today the news that came my way was varied.

Bill called me at work this morning to say that his mother had taken a turn for the worse in the nursing home in PA and that he was leaving to travel up there again to check on her and his sisters. She may not make it through the weekend.

The second call I received later in the afternoon was from Austin to say that Colleen was in Fredericksburg with her mother, sister and maid-of-honor looking at wedding venues for next summer. They are ready to make a commitment to a date.

Endings and beginnings...thank goodness...we are blessed with both and each has its important place in our lives.

Change

It's been a long time since a post and that's because of CHANGE. My brain can only handle so much of it at a time. Change makes me think and react and stay on-task round the clock.

I guess most of the change has to do with Ellie being back on this side of the Atlantic. But it also has to do with Bill's healing which is now taking place at a great rapid pace. He is working out at the Wellness Center again and, today, he actually played golf, alone and in the rain, but he was exhilarated by the time we connected back at home.

Here's the big news, as of tomorrow, Bill and I celebrate our 22nd wedding anniversary on August 19. We have grown through many changes in those years. Some with much finesse and smoothness and others with, well, tentativeness (to make it sound like the high road). Nonetheless, we are celebrating all 22 years and our current happiness with life. Cheers to us!

Peaches

When I was a little girl, my sister and I would visit our great aunt in Chattanooga during the heat of the summer. Aunt Judy would take us anywhere we wanted to go, including the park, the drive-in burger joint, the movies, and on and on.

The most familiar scent I remember from those deep south summers was the smell of peaches riding along with us in the heat of Aunt Judy's Buick. She always seemed to have peaches in the car from a friend or a stand. These were not the small to medium peaches we typically get in the Shenandoah Valley today. Giant, juicy Georgia peaches rode with us, usually in a brown paper bag. Were they giant or was I just small? At any rate, as we jumped in the baking car, hot peaches would waft through the air. I remember feeling comforted by the pungent air, excited to see where our next adventure would take us.

Today one of my favorite summertime activities is peeling peaches standing at my kitchen sink. Of course, I am always reminded of Aunt Judy's hot peach car, but also because peeling peaches is a deliberate, focused task. There is no way to hurry. If you choose to peel too soon, you're stuck with no juicy, meaty fruit. If you choose the perfect peach to peel, the skin slides right off between your knife and your thumb. Peeling is a good time to slow down and think and smell and breathe....peaches.

Homecoming

Ellie in Edinburgh

She's back! After an hour delay arriving at the Richmond airport, we were able to welcome Ellie back into our arms. Whew! For her, it was almost 3:00 in the morning, but she entertained us all the way home with story after story of her adventures. The sound of her voice and laughter was like honey pouring into my ears.

Around midnight, we all went to bed. I could hardly wait to get up and listen and look all over again. Over coffee this morning, she shared her hundreds of photos with more stories. Then she blessed us with the readings of two poems she had written for her class during the last five weeks. We loved hearing her voice interpret each one the way only an author is capable of sharing her works.

We're celebrating our reunion and enjoying each others company with much gratitude. As Bill is fond of saying, "Ain't life grand?"

Embarrassment

Ellie Delivering Her Final Piece

Well, I embarrassed myself today. Ellie is 'scot' free over in Scotland and about to travel on her own for the next day or so. We hadn't heard from her and weren't sure exactly where she was to be. From Edinburgh, she had a plan to take the train to Wales to meet up with her friend, Erin, at a youth hostel and then on to London and Heathrow to fly home Thursday.

When we hadn't heard from her by mid-afternoon ( early evening for her), I wondered why. The more I wondered, the more I began to become anxious and boarding on panic by the time I got home and Bill still hadn't heard anything. Our deal was that she would contact us daily whilst on the road. We did know that she was spending a certain amount of time at her friend, Amy's apartment in Edinburgh.

Yes, I panicked. What would you do, Mothers? By the time I took a chill pill, she called and Bill was carrying on a conversation about visiting art galleries all around Edinburgh (without her cell phone). I felt foolish. Oh, Bly.

Tomorrow she is traveling alone by train from Edinburgh to Wales to locate Erin at a youth hostel somewhere in the wilds. Lord, give me strength to make it through tomorrow, anxiety-free and to trust her instincts and better judgment along the way. I can do this!

Congrats to Corinna

Corinna with her Ginger

A heartfelt congratulations to Corinna for landing a job after many months of unemployment. Not just any job, a job she really wanted and is looking forward to having. Hopefully, Mad Genius will take off and its associate producer will too!

Well done, You!

Shake a Leg

It's time for Bill to pull out his pizza hat and begin to enjoy retirement. We had a marvelous trip in celebration the last of May, but since then he has been ill with pneumonia. His energy level is zip. This is NOT the way God meant for retirement to be!

Then, again, I think he is recovering from 25 years with Nielsen, 15 of which he was the Chief Operations Officer and his stress load was over the top. Perhaps, this is the way he had to recuperate---sick. He has a list of projects he wants to start. And, of course, I have a list of projects for him to start. But, it just isn't meant to be YET.

He has played 10,000 games of solitaire on his iPhone beginning in London and continuing daily. He has done the daily crossword without fail. He is trying to mend through rest and relaxation. Soon, it will be time for him to don his pizza hat that Ellie gave him for Christmas and shake a leg!

Good News

As Bill says, we're at 100% employment in the family now, as Corinna got a job, after being unemployed since last November, on Friday. She will be the associate producer of a new music show on Fuse network, Mad Genius. It is exactly what she has wished for since leaving Current, producing. She feels as though it could lead to many open doors, if the show takes off and she does a good job. Ultimately, she would like to be able to freelance in the LA entertainment industry.

The BIG news last night.....drum roll.....is that Austin proposed to Colleen yesterday on bended knee at the site of our wedding 22 years ago next month, the EMU hill which overlooks Harrisonburg on one side and the farmland of Rockingham County on the other! He presented her with a beautiful platinum, three-diamond ring which he chose himself last weekend. They had planned dinner with us last night and when they arrived with this news, we were all four giddy with excitement and happiness. Austin then called his grandparents in Williamsburg to deliver the good news, his sister in LA and we finally were able to reach his sister in Scotland, as well, so that they could personally fill everyone in. We toasted and kissed and ate in celebration. They move into a new town home next weekend and begin their life in engagement!

Cheers to our family. We are blessed.

Skyping and Blogging

Ellie on Skype today

I've learned to appreciate the tools of the internet and technology through my work at WVPT. I have really stretched myself over the past couple of years and it's paying off. Yesterday, I helped my mother setup a blog in honor of her 79th birthday we were celebrating in Williamsburg. You should have seen her face when I showed her all of the Google applications she could have access to now that she has a Google account!

Today I Skyped with Ellie, when she returned from her retreat to the Hospitalfield House, sitting at my desk at work (which is where I nabbed the photo above). We had a 30-minute conversation and caught up with lots of news on both sides of the Atlantic.

New tools are always helpful in the 'work' we need to get done. Bill will tell you that, as a carpenter. I'm just happy that these new tools in my life are keeping my connected to my daughter and mother this week. Don't knock 'em, until you've tried 'em, I think is how the saying goes!

Little by Little

I remember when I first felt as though I was losing my grip as a parent of Ellie. She got her driver's license. Now she could take off without either of us...to school, to meet friends, anywhere. It felt like a big step. I wrung my hands waiting for her to pull in the driveway, knowing for certain she was safe and sound. She always did and she was fine.

The next giant leap out into the world was college. To leave her in the downtown of Richmond felt horrifying. That's all you hear of Richmond, the crime and hard lifestyle of the inner city. She is a rising junior and has managed the city life for two years now. She always did and she was fine.

She flew alone across the country last spring to visit Corinna in LA. To put her on a plane, alone, felt as though she was so vulnerable to the world. She made it and had a great spring break. She did and she was fine.

Now, I have entrusted her to the world of Scotland and study abroad for six weeks. To think of her traveling and managing her way across the UK feels scary from where I sit. She's soaking up the amazing experiences of the culture and writing from her heart. She is doing it and she is fine.

In small increments, I am letting her go. This is her summer of independence and she is doing it will great style and pluck! Little by little is the way to let go.

Waiting

I feel as though I am in waiting. I'm waiting for Bill to feel better as he heals from pneumonia. I'm waiting to hear from Ellie, always, and for her arrival back home. I'm waiting for the weather to change from hot to tolerable. I'm waiting to hear about Austin and Colleen finding a new living arrangement (I finished waiting for Colleen to find a job---she did! Last week she accepted an art teaching position at Stanley Elementary).

As I wait, I tend to pick my fingers and twirl my hair. Isn't it funny that even as we age, we regress to old habits that soothed us at various times in our lives. My 80-year-old father will still tell you that when I was a baby and he was giving me a bottle, I would play with the hair on his arm. He swears that's why I still twist my hair when I am pensive or nervous or anything anxious.

I just have to share one of my photos from our trip abroad this spring to England and France (see above). It seems to be a waiting image. I was waiting to feel better, as I had a cold, and the London weather was cool and brisk. Hot water with lemon and honey at Boswell's helped that day.

I continue to wait, picking and twirling, to manage life in the best way I know how. Isn't that what we all try to accomplish?

Successful Children

We sat on our screen porch last night with two of our best friends and former neighbors, Danny and Elena, talking about our children. Not so unusual for the four of us. But last night we all agreed that their two and our three are currently doing quite well. They have grown into solid adults and are successfully maneuvering through life right now. They each appreciate what we, as parents, have done over the years and voice those gratitudes regularly. Whew! They finally get it. We agreed that it is important to take the time to acknowledge these crystal clear moments of the world being right, as we did last night. Cheers!

Views of Ellie

Ellie at Oxford

Life is good this morning. We were able to SEE and TALK with Ellie via Skype. Because of our Internet connection, it was delayed and blurry, but we saw her and talked nonetheless. She gave us a 'tour' of her room and the view outside of her window there in Glasgow. What fun! She is having a grand time in the town and loving her classmates and classes. She has written two poems for Creative Writing class---her forte. She says she wants to experiment with other genres while there.

Peace has washed over me since seeing her beautiful face and smile, hearing her laugh and enjoying her little mannerisms. The three of us had such a good time, as we do whenever we're in each others' company. A piece of my world came together this morning and I am grateful beyond words.

Are you okay?

This question was posed by Colleen, Austin's girlfriend and adopted member of our family. We met for coffee recently. She said that at my father's 80th birthday party last weekend, they felt as though I wasn't myself and were concerned.

I swear. I wish I could juggle more balls in the air without showing my stress....especially to my loved ones, like Austin and Colleen. I replied that I'm not the best at handling a multitude of STUFF at the same time. The balls in air last weekend included Eleanor's safe arrival in Scotland, Dad's party and just finishing a major teachers' conference with my department. You would think that by 55, I would be able to manage life with a little more finesse. I'm going to practice juggling and keeping my life streamlined to a minimum of activity.

Today I gave my resignation to a grassroots group which I helped begin, CAAV, Climate Action Alliance of the Valley. While away, I considered the time I spent in meetings with this organization and decided I should give it up and help on an 'as-needed' basis. They were generous with praise and regret that I was leaving, but understood totally, as I think I'm practically the only one with a full time job.

Anyway, it is my goal now to juggle with alacrity. For my sake and, for when I am able to spend time with my loved ones, they are not wondering if I am okay.

Dance the Dance

Recently, I found a quote which is quite appropriate for this summer with Ellie on her own in the UK. For you mothers out there, here goes...

"I think I must let go. Must fear not, must be quiet so that my children can hear the Sound of Creation and dance the dance that is in them." ---Russell Hoban

Bill claims I need to chew this up and swallow it. Isn't he poetic? But, he is right. I can just imagine the Sound of Creation radiating through my fingers and toes when I swallow the quote and release the fear. I have not learned the lesson of letting go of my children, my youngest in particular. Austin and Corinna have proved to be quite capable adults out in the world. Now it's Ellie's turn and I must allow her to find her way and DANCE!

My Daughter Spreads Her Wings

As I watch Ellie and her friend, Erin, take a giant leap into the world, I am astonished at their adept management of life outside of their comfort zone. Could I have done this at 20? Not so sure. But these two are maneuvering through the UK with grace and style.

I know the world has changed and gotten smaller in the 35 years since I was their age. Nonetheless, it is a more complicated place as well. I am in awe of these two young women who are taking on this journey.

I must take pride as a mother that my beautiful daughter is spreading her wings. I am grateful for her spirit and strong constitution. Blessed be!